We haven’t posted much on crabby hands in a while now.Β  Mainly due to us all having lots on at uni.

But here we go. I’m putting the best of what I have up. We’ve took tons of crabby hands photos but only some are making the cut.

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I’ll be keeping on top of it all now that uni is over πŸ˜€ xxx

As we like to maintain a cultural feel here at crabby hands… here are some crabby hands found in unlikely places at a local museum outing… enjoy!

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Stay tuned for more folks!

well another night in the Bunker meant another load of crabby hands, so here we go

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So recently there’s been a lack of crabby hands, mainly due to us all having lots of uni work on so we’ve not really had time to update.Β  But fear not crabby hand lovers, we’re back and gaining more hands as we go.Β  Just wait for Monday, there shall be a nice collection put up for you lot then.

As for tonight though, I have a collection which were found by the amazing Kathryn Bright

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First we start with the hulk, would you mess with those crabby hands?

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Possibly the best crabby hand in any film

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The most powerful crabby hand ever!

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I love this last one… A crab held by a crabby hand, perfect

I was going to put all these up in seperate installments but thought that since you’ve lacked crabby hands updates lately, I’d do it all together xxx

Well on a Sunday we ejoy the quiz at our little second home and we thought why not make some crabby hands while we were there

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enjoy and stay tuned for more crabby hands! xxx

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Crabby Hands started life in the minds of three mentally incompetent young adults whom all shared a fascination with the weird and wonderful things that their world provided. As they met on a cold autumnal Thursday evening, little did they know what was to come and how it would change their lives forever.

Jennifer and Laura took their seats at the back of the old wooden bar, awaiting Kate to return with their precious beverages. They watched intently as Kate waded over, precariously balancing three glasses between her freakishly small, impish hands. She placed the outer glass down on the table first and pushed it towards Laura. She was left with the two half pints of cider that her and Jennifer would devour over the course of the next half an hour.

Laura took the first sip of her half pint of Diet Coke. She didn’t drink that much. Too expensive and not worth it she would moan whenever someone enquired. β€œSo. How are yous?”

Kate placed her half down on the table as she was about to speak. β€œI’m good. Just had to do some crappy bead thing for college today. And I’ve managed to prick my finger about ten million times.” She proffered her finger for closer inspection. There was indeed a small collection of red bumps scattered on the end of her finger.

β€œOh poor you.” Jennifer grabbed Kate’s hand kissed the finger. Kate and Laura both chuckled at Jennifer’s attempt at aiding the sore finger.

β€œNo Ma the night then?” Laura took another sip of her Coke. Sarah, or Ma as she was more affectionately known, had a habit of attending Thursday evening drinks intermittently, sometimes citing work or bad feet as an excuse for her absence.

β€œNah. She text me a couple of hours ago saying she was shopping with her sister.” Both Jennifer and Laura rolled their eyes.

β€œHow can she be shopping? The shops close at eight and it’s…” Jennifer glanced at her phone. β€œ…half past now. Why didn’t she just come straight here?”

β€œThat’s what I said. But she said she was knackered.” Kate shrugged in defeat.

β€œNever mind. We can still have a good laugh without her mumsiness.” Laura plucked an offending lemon slice out of her glass. β€œWhy do they always put fucking lemon in Diet Cokes?” She fluttered the lemon in the air and tossed it onto the table.

β€œEww. That’s disgusting. Why do you always throw in my direction?” Jennifer grabbed the straw out of Laura’s glass and pushed the lemon back in the direction it flew from. β€œNi…ce.” She flung the straw onto the floor.

Laura picked the lemon slice back up and wiggled it in front of Jennifer’s face. β€œUrrgh” Jennifer batted away the slice and it hit the faux leather seat behind Kate’s head.

Kate ducked to avoid the splash as the lemon passed her head. β€œWatch it.” She leaned back over the table and grasped her hand around the glass in front of her.

β€œHaha!” Laura gave a massive guffaw and pointed in the direction of Kate’s glass. β€œCrabby hand! Crabby hand!” She nudged Jennifer, encouraging her to look also.

Jennifer pulled her hand over her mouth and tried to stifle a big but it was not enough. She eventually let out a big chuckle. β€œIt is! Kate you’ve got a crabby hand.”

Kate kept her hand in position and looked downwards towards her glass. What faced her was not what she expected. He hand was gnarled into a weird, decrepit form. She also burst into laughter. β€œIt is. That’s awesome. Get a picture and we can put it with the other one.”

A mere two years earlier, a photo had surfaced of Kate at a work’s Christmas party. On that photo was her clasping a spirit based drink. Her hand was curled and her fingers were on jaunty angles. Laura had coined the phrase ‘crabby hand’ to describe such a hand form. From then one Kate had been queen of the crabby hands. And she had done it once more. Two years after the first one, she had resurrected the term once again.

Jennifer whipped out her phone and proceeding to take a picture of Kate’s crabby hand. β€œHehe. I’ll put it on Facebook.”

β€œYou should.” Laura sat back and held her stomach, trying to keep the laughter escaping from her mouth in loud bursts.

β€œYou might as well collect them all and make a website.” Kate suggested. Laura shot upright out of her lounging position and Jennifer froze.

β€œThat’s a mint idea.” Laura bounced in her seat enthusiastically. β€œYou could celebrity ones as well, like crabby hand of the week or something.”

Jennifer nodded. Of course it was a damn good idea she thought. β€œYeah and we could call it Crabby Hands Blog and get our mates and that to give us some to post.”

β€œWe’ll be rich!” Laura bellowed. She was almost fainting at the brilliant proposition being put forward.

Jennifer offered herself forward. β€œI’ll build it. I’ll do it on wordpress because that’s free and easy.”

β€œI’ll provide my own crabby hands.” Kate took another sip of her cider. β€œI am the queen after all.”

β€œAnd I’ll just point and laugh at what you build until I find something useful for me to do.” Laura went to take another sip of her coke only to find she had drank it all. β€œIs that a deal then?”

β€œYeah.” Kate and Jennifer declared excitedly at the same time.

They were going to be rich, famous and maybe thought of as a little weird. Nevertheless, they had stumbled on something so damn brilliant it just couldn’t fail. The drank the rest of their night away with purpose, with strength and most importantly, with self belief. They were going to make this crabby hands thing work if it was the last thing they were going to do.

The popularity of crabby hands is indeed growing after a mention on a local radio station! However it appeared that the crabbiness was perhaps loved a little ‘too’ much by one crabby handed fan. An inside source at crabby hands gained this exclusive picture from one of those radio station fans…

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…along with some particularly ‘enthusiastic’ crabby comments!

“…maybe we could explore this crabby hands phenomenon together… see what we could get up to together by placing our hands in curious positions…”

It appears the crabbiness is more popular than we first thought! If you know any other crabby hand fetishists please let us know!

Stay tuned for more insider crabby hand scoops!

xxx

I have been lumbered with the unfortunate task of having to write ‘crabby hand’ based stories for this blasted site. The first one is currently being prepared in the fusty organ in my head called the brain. Don’t expect it to be good, decent or even half-decent. Keep you’re expectations low and then you will not be disappointed.

But the first story will concern the evolution behind the hand that is crabby. Kepp your eyes peeled and stay classy.

In no particular order, here is a rundown of ten top crabby hands…

Number 1…

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Number 2…

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Number 3…

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Number 4…

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Number 5…

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Number 6…

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Number 7…

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Number 8…

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Number 9…

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Number 10…

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Which is your favourite crabby hand? Stay tuned for more folks!

xxx